Satanism has been called many things. Some people say it’s a cult. Some say it’s a religion. Others say, “no way! That’s not a religion! It’s just a philosophy!” But do we know what these words really mean, or do we only know how they make us feel? Are we assigning a definition and label to something based on our comfort level alone or are we being true to the meanings of the words we use? The definition of religion and theology in general is something that will never be out of fashion to debate academically: as culture evolves, so will the way we define our world, but that doesn’t mean that the definitions themselves will change because definitions don’t change (the words we use to describe a concept will though)! So let’s talk about actual definitions, and let’s talk about definitions used by the authority figures in our world instead of what we heard our best friend’s cousin use on Tumblr. I bet you’ve wondered what the difference between these words are, so let’s find out together, one brave step at a time.

This is a personalized, customized ceremony that it linked to another ceremony that will be held on Walpurgisnacht. Although it follows the sentiment of a Satanic ritual, please bear in mind that this ritual is non-traditional. It has been customized for maximum impact in the ritual chamber. It is for this same reason that some readings from the Satanic Bible have been removed and alternate text (of arguably more relevant context) have replaced it. That said, this psychodrama can be performed in the creative abyss of your own mind rather than the real world IF you are creative enough to sink yourself that deeply into it. It is strongly recommended that if you were to go this route that you would still listen to the ambient music and still physically touch your totems.
 
I have shared some commentary on the best way to set up your altar within the instructions below. Not shared is information about attire. It is traditional to wear all black for Satanic Rituals, and if you are female to don something that enhances your power as a lady—usually by wearing something promiscuous. This is up to you. My suggestion is to wear whatever aids you in recognizing your own inner black flame. You are a god. Be sure to dress like one… Shall we begin?

Most people tend to look at something important that is desired with a sense of longing, as if they’ll never be able to achieve such a thing. Most people are too afraid to try, lest they fail, but most people are not you. If you want to learn how to achieve happiness in this temporary existence that we share here in this world, you’ll need to learn how to take big projects (big desires!) and break them down into something actionable. There is no use in having Satanic Power if you’re not going to use it for something. There is no point to Satanic Lesser Magic if you’re just going to chaotically mess with people for temporary amusements. Big effort reaps big rewards, but it doesn’t need to be as intimidating to you as it seems to everyone else. Let’s talk about Satanic goal setting. Acronyms are beloved because they’re easy to remember, and I’ve gone ahead and assembled one for you which should hit close to home:

Satanism is not a religion that you can convert to. According to our founder, Anton LaVey, all Satanists are born Satanists, not made Satanists. There is no initiation ritual. There is no vow or commitment that can help you “become” a Satanist. You’ll never hear us proselytizing to you or luring you to the dark side, and it’s not because we’re the narcissistic elite who think ourselves better, nor is it because we’d judge you as unworthy for bending at the knee to a god with mind-sterilizing dominion (though you really…should probably reconsider that decision, perhaps.). That impenetrable shroud which folds the line between our ways leaves many of you to wonder: what is it like to be born into Satanism? You crave to know the secrecy that happens behind the curtain, so allow me to draw it back for you and confront you with the world-shattering truth: nobody is actually born into Satanism. Blasphemer! Heretic! The Satanic Bible states otherwise, Witch, as you, yourself, have only seconds ago stated! Don’t worry, curious friend. Take a walk with me and let’s talk about how the world turns.

There is something about Satanism, especially “traditional” atheistic Satanism codified by LaVey, that screams “narcissistic elitist egomaniac.” Of course, knowing we ‘LaVeyans’ as you do, you will know that this isn’t actually the case, but it does nevertheless dominate the opinion of society when we are center stage in its field of view. I struggle to pinpoint exactly where this comes from and in the end I find myself somewhat comfortable with the notion that it stems from all of the inspiration that Anton LaVey had from works such as “Anthem” and “Might is Right.” Dystopian struggle is a favored theme by many, and the idea of conquering the general glum and gloom of daily life to achieve what you want out of it is one of the things that we take pride in as Satanists. We spend our time in the pursuit of happiness, bettering ourselves, and enjoying this world in a deep capacity. Such being the case, it really doesn’t come to me by surprise then that there is something even more top secret in Satanic society, a stricter taboo of discussion than even SRA itself: Satanists with disabilities.

There are quite a few questions that a person can ask a Satanist that are downright offensive because they automatically assume that the Satanic witch is an unscrupulous, morally defunct, and psychopathic monster who partners with the evilest of evil kings in order to enjoy a few simple pleasures before their ultimate demise and eternal damnation in an empire of fire and brimstone. Need I really comment on how far from the truth this really is? I think instead I’ll choose not to dignify it with a response. The question that I get the most from those following the Right-Hand Path about magic for some reason happens to be: “What about the morality of it?” The morality? I understand that this is a valid question that comes from a genuine place, but it never fails to remind me just how misinformed the world is to the Satanic craft.

This one is for the adults out there, so if you’re underage, check your fake ID at the door. You recall recently that I posted about your first enchantment in Lesser Magic and I pointed out some of the things that you should be aware of when you’re meeting somebody for the first time. I talked about what a handshake should look like if your target fit the example, and I briefly brushed on the sort of behavior to exhibit if you wanted to take a spin at being me and being successful in my world. By the end of it you may have come to agree with me that Lesser Magic is far underrated by many of the Satanic population, and I tend to feel at times that those who write it off the most are those who fail the most at utilizing it. There is much more overall to consider when you’re playing a role, and Lesser Magic really can sometimes feel like an act with the entire world as your stage. Done in real-time on a road constructed by bricks you’ve painstakingly laid in the past, there is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to get an Oscar for your performance if you only take the time to learn about your subject and understand what’s going on behind the curtain in Oz.

Greetings. We’re probably going to be very happy to meet you, so long as we all get off on the right foot. This blog is an open letter to all of those potential “Arrogant Apprentices” out there who demand to be converted or indoctrinated into Satanism and inject themselves into the life of an unwilling Satanist as their unsolicited "apprentice." Although, even if you aren’t one of those "Arrogant Apprentices," you may as well continue since you may pick up a helpful pointer or two in how to get the most out of your adventure. :)

Let’s get started right away by immediately clearing up your first potential obscene misunderstanding in etiquette: we refuse to convert you to Satanism, and if you ask you will effectively murder any positive first impression you hoped to make with your zealous and emphatic dedication to the subject. This may come as a surprise to you, and you may also be surprised that we refuse to “teach you” Satanism as well. Allow me to explain? You see, when you take this role of “recipient of knowledge,” you are either ignorantly or arrogantly attempting to cast us in the role of “provider of knowledge.” You attempt to require us to accommodate your desires without lifting a finger to accommodate ours, a thing which comes off as entitled, disrespectful, and transitory. We know you haven’t thought any of this through because if you had, you would have approached this a little bit differently. We recognize that you are accustomed to being preached to, and we know you’ve probably heard some disturbing things that either seem intriguing or flat out wrong, but what you must first understand is that we aren’t missionaries. Our day is just as beautiful without having an Arrogant Apprentice hanging on our belt loop, especially when we didn’t actually invite them to even touch us in the first place. (Clearly we are happy to answer questions and provide feedback, but this is altogether different than demanding that we become your priest.)

Caution: This blog post includes content which may be sensitive to some readers and is based on true events. While specific details aren’t discussed, please be aware that the topic is more mature than some other blogs I’ve posted in the past and may be emotionally stirring for survivors of domestic violence. I feel that it is very important to discuss real-world topics now and then because if these topics aren’t discussed they’ll never be addressed, and if they’re never addressed we are not being responsible Satanists. Thank-you.

A single gray balloon was how the anomaly first successfully both greeted me and transfixed my attention. It was late September, and the bleeding analog digits on the clock on the nightstand seemed to read 11:30. I was supposed to be asleep by now. I had been asleep a few moments ago, but that moment had already long since expired since I’d come to the realization that something had disturbed the peace here. The room was dark: stars in the sky were hidden by the drawn window shade, and the golden beacon from the crack under the door had been snuffed in the hallway quite a while ago. Everything was still. Everything was calm. Everything was as it should be except for a single gray balloon that was dragging itself in the air back and forth before my eyes. Had it not been for the clock at my side I may not have been able to see it, but the bleary glow managed to cast enough of a filmy red into the abyss that I could make out this balloon and how it bobbed, dragged, and changed directions before my very sleepy eyes. This must have been a really weird dream, a very unique dream—or some sort of important moment of some other nature. There was nobody here but me though: no monsters under the bed, nothing in the closet, no mysterious hand holding that string to drag it, but I was frozen all the same from my spot, a young girl of six, watching this event take place with a half-woken and fear-baited mind.

Just in case you forgot to flip your calendar over fourteen days ago, you only have about seventeen days left until Halloween, arguably one of the best holidays in the year by thousands of children nation-wide. I doubt very much that you’ve been living under a meteor as large as what’d be required to distract you from this upcoming celebration of adrenaline and fright, and I figure that there’s a fair chance that you’ve already begun to watch your favorite scary movies in preparation for the spirit of this absolutely divine occasion. What sorts of movies are they, I wonder? Are they the traditional ‘70s and ‘80s cult classics like “Halloween,” “The Exorcist,” and “Nightmare on Elm Street?” Are they the modern remade “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” Amityville horror, or “The Omen?” Or, are you more of the full-on classic fan type for flicks like “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari,” “Nosferatu,” and of course, last but not least: Bela Lugosi's version of “Dracula?” Hopefully you’re not the “Casper the Friendly Ghost” sort of person, but no matter what your pill, I bet it’s been on your mind.

Back in the days of old, man had a lot more time to sit around and think about things. They thought about the sky, they thought about how water flowed downhill, and they thought about their gods. It’s a known fact to atheists that religions are nothing more than the product of the human mind, and Satanism (as codified by Anton LaVey) embraces this truth as well.


I’ve been reading quite a bit (coincidentally, it’s been a cluster) of opinion pieces recently about the concept of flocks. The men who designed Christianity were very clever people – and of course, clever and smart may not mean the same thing, but they were clever enough to get many folks to believe their lie even when it didn’t make any sense (incredibly clever)! Successfully controlling something demands that one takes into account “the balance.” In the aim to design a religion that will entrance a horde of the average to perform to your whim, you need to allow there to be enough conflict and celebration to keep them occupied enough to never question what could be outside of the four fences of their pens.

You know, I have some experience with this. What sort of witch would I be if I didn't experience some sort of blowup here and there? I'm the sort of person whose drive can be found in the concept of drive itself. I want to advance because I want to see how much ground I can take. Call it lust for accomplishment or greed for success. Call it pride in self or violence in passion. Whatever you want to call it, I am this way and I embrace it.It's easiest for me to be competitive fairly in the workplace. I find it's a fair sort of battleground where anything goes, where you're dealing with other people as opponents and where the rewards can be quite lucrative. I'm a corporate personality type in the business world.

I'm sly, I'm ruthless. I don't do a single thing without knowing exactly what that energy is being put towards. I'm a "project manager" of people in business, and the game has brought me to the most unexpected places you could imagine. It's a blast. It's a thrill. It's ALL just LESSER MAGIC.

Lesser magic can be dumbed-down to the concept of "Manipulation." It's how you get what you want by doing things that ordinary sheeple don't think of. I think a lot of the time Lesser Magic is abused by the fallacy that it's "passive" magic or just something that is easy and comes naturally to some people.

Oh no, no no. If you're going to be a successful witch (neuter) you'll quickly come to honor it for what it is. Lesser Magic takes more energy than Greater Magic and it's produced more concrete results in my world than Greater Magic has. Why? I'll tell you why: