Myth busting in Satanism is a problem.

Hold on, I don’t think you read that correctly, because you’re agreeing with me. Let me try again: MYTH BUSTING is the problem, not the “lack of myth busting.” Yes, myth busting itself. (Okay, now we’re on the same page.) It’s true. I don’t feel comforted to know that people are trying to “explain Satanism.” In fact, some days I’m afraid it may give me an ulcer. I know that something is about to be shared that isn’t true. I know that someone’s going to walk away feeling educated, even though they are more than likely farther from their target than before. Even Satanists who accurately identify as Satanists often say the wrong thing when they’re trying to “help dispel misconceptions.” It’s horrible. You wouldn’t think this would be an issue since it’s not an issue in other belief systems, but no, it is, and it’s entirely unnecessary because the authorities in Satanism have made it very clear:

Once I wrote a letter to a personality I called “the Arrogant Apprentice.” This personality archetype is the individual who says they want to research Satanism but won’t do anything to actually learn it. Instead, they seem to think that we can transfer information via the cloud (what would the Hell version of “cloud” be? Smog?) in some sort of fantastical automatic download. They don’t want to spend the time learning Satanism, they just want to already know it, and they want to know it yesterday! They want to be able to take the perceived “arcane” information and turn around to dangle it in front of their friends as a way to feel knowledgeable and superior. After all, look at how fast they learned the religion! Good thing they hooked up with a real Satanist who was able to just explode all this information at them—because in their eyes, that’s exactly what’s normal. They grew up in a world where people are constantly trying to convince them to join their side. Not so with Satanism. We couldn’t care less. Maybe that’s why we react the way we do with respect to their approach with the Satanic Bible?

Deconversion is a perpetual topic in my Satanic corner of the world. When you reach out to me about my experiences, I hear a lot of folks saying that they are coming from a Christian background but they are beginning to question if their god exists and they don’t know where to go from here. The mere fact that I receive these questions tells me that there are people out there who feel trapped and already know that they aren’t Christian, but who can’t fully emancipate themselves from it. As Satanists we have options available to us for breaking past religious influence such as the Black Mass (I mean, hah, don’t make me define “available!”) but those who haven’t yet crossed the line in the sand are still in bondage. These, you folks, you don’t feel like you have any tools to help you free yourself because of the influence that religion continues to have on you, even if you’re unhappy. Thankfully, you’re wrong. Yeah, you’re wrong, aren’t you happy to hear that? You, like the rest of us, have magic within you. You can break imaginary chains with that power if you know how to use that magic. I did it. I used that power on myself and I’ll show you how.

There are some topics which I know I could go on for decades, for centuries about. I’m going to do my best here to prevent this from turning into an endless rant, because I know what goes into a good story, and there is nothing good about this one. This is something that all Satanists, I boldly propose and declare, have encountered. This is something that makes us all ball our hands (even in our minds!) throw them into the air, and bellow a loud “No, you stupid fuck!!” Stupidity, as you may be aware, is one of our sins, and so you can feel assured at the degree this subject grates on us. A rant is overdue. A rant is far overdue.

Written in 1969 by Anton LaVey and published by Avon Books after several refusals from other publishing houses due to nature of its content, the Satanic Bible is revered as the central doctrine of Satanism, and is a required read for any person looking to understand the religion in general or for their own purposes. The book itself is not written as other religious texts are, but presents more as a philosophical manifesto that includes everything from commentary in essays on critical concepts that make up the religion to occult resources dating back as early the 17th century.

Whatever your reasoning for doing so be, if you’re reading this blog you have released your ship from the dock of “rumor” and are investigating Satanism for yourself. The ocean is vast, and it can be hard to know where to start with so many different ports in the world. Some of them are dangerous, some of them pretend to be something they’re not, and some of them speak complicated languages that pull you down a rabbit hole of mysticism, esotericism, and all that—not something you really have time to do just yet when you’re only just now deciding to get your toes wet. So where do you go? Unlike Abrahamic traditions there aren’t people standing on every street corner looking to convert you to the religion. That in itself, coming from the world you have been raised in, may be a bit intimidating, and that doesn’t help you steer to a destination you don’t know. Want a hint?

That accident lives in my memory as if it happened just yesterday, but the thing that I remember the most was the shock I had over the first thing to run through my head. I was nineteen, I’d just gotten my license, and I’d rear-ended someone. They looked pretty pissed. I looked pretty pale. I knew what had happened: it was my fault. I’d gotten carried away, I’d been careless. I’d made some assumptions about the behavior of others, and my assumptions were faulty because I lacked experience in reading others on the road. There was nothing else to do now but call the police and bear the penalty for my poor judgement, but all the while I couldn’t shake that single thought in my head: “I wish I could get a re-do.” Oh, what I wouldn’t have given for that! My father was going to slaughter me. My freedom was about to be jailed. My record was tarnished, and never would I be able to go back in time and change what’d happened because that’s just not how life worked. It’s a curse of being young, but it’s a burden that lessens as time makes us stronger, and I’m lucky: I’ve learned a great deal over the years but in its place I’ve picked up a different sort of burden. Now? Now I suffer watching youth make the same dangerous decisions I did, and youth, exciting as it is, rarely allows someone to slow down, take a breath, and listen to the sage advice that’d make life a little easier.

Recently I’ve been writing quite a bit about magic in Satanism and it’s apparent from the questions you’ve asked that you’re curious about what these terms mean to me as a Satanist since they mean other things in other religions. I’d be remiss if I didn’t explain my personal perspective in the philosophy to you fully since the goal of this blog is to clear up any misconceptions about Satanism! I thoroughly recommend giving The Satanic Bible a read for information on magic in Satanism which isn’t only my own opinion on it, but for those of you who are seeking clarification on the fundamentals and my use of the terms specifically in this blog, look no further. All right: without further ado, let’s jump into it! Click Read More to expand and use the inverse pentagram graphic to mark your spot.

Recently I’ve been writing quite a bit about magic in Satanism and it’s apparent from the questions you’ve asked that you’re curious about what these terms mean to me as a Satanist since they mean other things in other religions. I’d be remiss if I didn’t explain my personal perspective in the philosophy to you fully since the goal of this blog is to clear up any misconceptions about Satanism! I thoroughly recommend giving The Satanic Bible a read for information on magic in Satanism which isn’t only my own opinion on it, but for those of you who are seeking clarification on the fundamentals and my use of the terms specifically in this blog, look no further. All right: without further ado, let’s jump into it! Click Read More to expand and use the inverse pentagram graphic to mark your spot.

Greetings. We’re probably going to be very happy to meet you, so long as we all get off on the right foot. This blog is an open letter to all of those potential “Arrogant Apprentices” out there who demand to be converted or indoctrinated into Satanism and inject themselves into the life of an unwilling Satanist as their unsolicited "apprentice." Although, even if you aren’t one of those "Arrogant Apprentices," you may as well continue since you may pick up a helpful pointer or two in how to get the most out of your adventure. :)

Let’s get started right away by immediately clearing up your first potential obscene misunderstanding in etiquette: we refuse to convert you to Satanism, and if you ask you will effectively murder any positive first impression you hoped to make with your zealous and emphatic dedication to the subject. This may come as a surprise to you, and you may also be surprised that we refuse to “teach you” Satanism as well. Allow me to explain? You see, when you take this role of “recipient of knowledge,” you are either ignorantly or arrogantly attempting to cast us in the role of “provider of knowledge.” You attempt to require us to accommodate your desires without lifting a finger to accommodate ours, a thing which comes off as entitled, disrespectful, and transitory. We know you haven’t thought any of this through because if you had, you would have approached this a little bit differently. We recognize that you are accustomed to being preached to, and we know you’ve probably heard some disturbing things that either seem intriguing or flat out wrong, but what you must first understand is that we aren’t missionaries. Our day is just as beautiful without having an Arrogant Apprentice hanging on our belt loop, especially when we didn’t actually invite them to even touch us in the first place. (Clearly we are happy to answer questions and provide feedback, but this is altogether different than demanding that we become your priest.)