Let’s get started. When I talk about your first enchantment, I’m talking about your first “opportunity” with somebody who can bring you something that you want. I’m talking about your first impression. I’m going use an example in a professional setting since it seems like I meet people more often through work than through any other medium, so if you don’t have a career you may need to think about the logic behind this rather than taking it so incredibly literally so that you can apply it to your own practices.
Often introductions will catch us off guard. We’ll be focusing on something, and we’ll feel a tap on the shoulder accompanied with the distant crescendo melody of, “Hold on, I want you to meet somebody.” You can usually tell by the name or pitch that follows this little phrase if the person behind you is a male or a female. Being a woman myself I approach this from the perspective of a female and this is important since culturally speaking it doesn’t matter what you’re actually like, what matters is what you look like you’ll be like. For this example I’m going to assign the gender of this new-comer “male,” because I tend to see more males in my male-dominated industry, and I’m going to assume that I’m being introduced to this fellow from my desk since that’s where I usually am at work. My boss likes submissive women who lift him up on a pedestal, so I’m gentle in the way that I pull my eyes from the computer, and after making sure to give my boss a soft inquisitive glance I let my gaze land on the new face. I have 0 shits about what I actually think about this person because it doesn’t matter. My eyes fall in a breezy sort of way from his shoulders to his hips and back up again at the same rate that my brows begin to lift, my features begin to brighten, my eyes open, and my lips begin to tug into the faintest of smiles: that’s for my boss’s benefit. This only lasts long enough for me to gauge what sort of personality I’m working with, and I can tell just by how he’s standing and how he’s looking back at me. Usually they’re uncertain and they’re waiting for my cue of how to respond, and I do it by extending my hand. If he’s the dominant personality type like my boss, I’ll give him a nearly watery handshake. If he’s the sort who comes off as boisterous and loose I’ll give him a handshake which is firmer and shorter. If he’s the strict one I’ll stand and give him a longer handshake with medium firmness. If he seems nervous to shake my hand I’ll give him a firmer squeeze intended to remind him of something else.
I’m not negligent on my other body language in any of this. If he’s an open or dominant sort of person then I keep my limbs and chin modestly or shyly close to my body. (Note: not freakishly close. You’re not up for acting unnaturally here, just be aware of yourself.) If he’s uptight or meek I’ll generally be a bit more animated and extroverted in my movements and posture.
My voice (pitch, pace, softness, volume, accent), is another tool that I use which varies according to the situation, but it’s far too complex to jump into for this blog.
If I’ve done everything correctly, I’ve made quite an impression. While my boss is rattling off everything that he’s proud of me for, all of those things that he counts on me for since I’m his “Pocket Ace,” I can play up whatever role is lacking in this new face’s life and guarantee that I’ll have made quite an impression—this is called enchantment. You need him under your spell before you can use him to help you achieve your ends, and first impressions are critical toward this process. You don't need to do anything more right now with this guy. You've implanted yourself into his mind and laid groundwork for the future in your next spell, whenever that happens to be, and if he's lucky enough to receive it!